The actors are in place, costumed as the King and His Court. Hundreds of extras fill the Chamber of Horrors, ready to howl and moan on cue. Quiet on the set. Roll cameras, we're shooting LA Bankruptcy, The Movie.

At 10 a.m. today, the City Council will take up deliberations of a far-reaching plan to downsize and restructure city government in hopes of avoiding the unthinkable, bankruptcy of the nation's second largest city, the once glittering capital of glamour that has fallen on hard times, a victim of the Greenback Plague.

Oh, what a day it will be.

The rabble in their rags -- laborers, peasants, cripples, stoners -- will storm the Palace of Opulence that serves as CIty Hall, so handsomely refurbished with gold and marble adornments for $300 million across the meadow from the $500 million Bastille of Gendarmes.

Minister of Finance Miguel de Santana will tell the 15 princes and princesses on the Council of Blather how dire the situation is. The Treasury is bare. Bankers and creditors are demanding action.

There is no option but to take the bread from the rabble's plate to feed the army of royal servants and fill the coffers of the Lords of Finance.

The Council of Blather, dressed in their finery, will nod their heads in agreement and then nod off to sleep, weary from their life of self-indulgence.

And then the king himself, King Antonio, will slip into the Chamber of Horrors from the back room where he has been cowering in fear for so long and announce they must act today or he will assert his royal prerogative and slash and burn under his own authority.

Nothing for the homeless bums, the blind and disabled, not even crumbs for the multitudes of peasants.

Prince Rosendahl dares to interrupt, demanding the king "explain to me and my district how he can better spend that money than what we're spending it on. We don't waste a penny."

Crown Prince Eric glares coldly at him and says,  with the restraint he is so renowned for, "It's not that those funds are used for bad things. It's that we have people who are about to lose their jobs."

Those people, the royal servants, cheer and clap in support and break into chanting "Feed Us, Feed Us, Feed Us..."

The lower classes mutter and grumble amongst themselves until one fearless soul, hat in hand steps forward and meekly asks for mercy, "Just a crumb, please just a crumb from your table, oh Lords and Masters..."

Tears wellling up her eyes, the ambitious Princess Janice, touches the peasant's shoulder with her gloved hand and says she hears his plaint and announces she will give up one of her body servants.

"If we're asking everyone else to sacrifice, we have to also be willing to offer up," she declares.
"Let these humble being too eat cake but only a small piece."

When the king sneaks out the back of the Chamber much as he arrived, the Council engages the arduous labor of agreeing to everything demanded of them.

But then the unexpected happens, brave young Shawn Simons of Arc rushes forth and demands to be heard. She passionately calls on the Council to retreat from their actions, to see the disaster that will occur, how the whole kingdom could fall into poverty and chaos.

Her pleas fall on deaf ears. She refuses orders to be silent but as the gendarmes move to escort from the Chamber, the masses of nobodies behind her rush forward and a voice in the crowd shouts, "Off with their heads."

At that moment, the director shouts: "Cut, and print."

The City Council takes up CAO Miguel Santana's three-year plan to restructure city government Tuesday to reorganize departments, possibly eliminating Human Services, Neighborhood Empowerment and other agencies.

He sent his list of the 1,000 positions to be eliminated with some of all of the workers transferring to the DWP, Harbor, Airport and special funds. The list of positions was obtained by OurLA.org where it has been posted.

If you want to know all about Janice Hahn's candidacy for Lieutenant Governor of California, there's an easy way to find out where she stands on the issues, volunteer to help and even donate money -- just go to her official LA City Council website.

If that's not an illegal use of city money and facilities, I don't know what is.

Hahn has the nerve -- or perhaps is so used to abuses at City Hall -- that she has a box near the top right of her Council website inviting readers to "SIGN UP NOW for our newsletter" and when you click on it you're asked for your name and email to mark the issues you care about from Airport, to Neighborhood Councils, 12 in all.

Click save when you're done with that exercise and you land on the Hahn 2010 campaign page for lieutenant governor.

It's really quite a good site, showing of the San Pedro Councilwoman with her great political pedigree to great effect. It's got all the social media tools and boxes to help you "spread the word," "volunteer" and "donate."

You got to wonder how she gets away with this. Are there no standards, no laws, no appreciation about the difference between public service and self service?

This isn't just a link, which would be bad enough.

It's a phony invitation to find out about city issues from the Councilwoman. It's nothing but a dirty trick to lure you to her campaign site. It ought to be stopped and the abuse punished.

It seems like a lifetime ago -- and in dog years it was! - when the San Fernando Valley, tried to secede from Los Angeles. I was reminded why the near divorce almost happened this morning.

Take it from me -- I live in the Valley -- it's easy for these people to feel like a second-class citizens. And because I'm a dog, I'm even lower on the kibble chain.

The Daily News' Rick Orlov, who's been covering City Hall since Sam Yorty was mayor and his newspaper was green, reported this morning that because of the budget crisis, Hollywood Eric Garcetti was canceling the once-a-month council meetings in Van Nuys.

The news was delivered to Orlov by Hollywood Eric's flack Julie Wong, who once flacked for San Pedro Jimmy Hahn, the unlucky mayor who got stuck fighting secession before he had time to find the third-floor men's room.

"There are a lot of costs involved in holding a council meeting outside of City Hall," Wong said. "It just seemed like it was a good idea to try to save that money, given the financial situation the city faces."

A lot of costs?

Give this dog a break! Like what?  Each council office has a small fleet of free cars.  Do they all have to pay for parking? The PA system?  Catered food? What about all the other ways they spend money on boondoggles that my pal Walter Moore found?

I don't see why you couldn't do a Council meeting in the Valley once a month for the price of your average PTA meeting.  Janice could bring cookies.

Of course, lots of Valley folks have been barking lately about the performance of Hollywood Eric and the other 14 council members and this just might be seen as rubbing the activists' noses in the pile of crap they left on the living room carpet.

And while that's a punishment Saint Deb would never allow around our house, I don't doubt for a second that the Council would do it to those loudmouths who make their lives so miserable.

Too bad Hollywood Eric didn't call The Dog Whisperer first. Cesar Millan, my favorite TV star, would tell him it just doesn't work.

Cesar might also tell him it's a really dumb move for somebody who's thinking about running for mayor.  And so would San Pedro Jim. Remember him? This dog's memories of him grow fonder by the day.
 
Woof!

Ignore, if you can, Richard Alarcon's arrogant and despicable treatment of an honorable public servant in this video and focus instead on the ignorant and despicable point he is making.

What Alarcon is saying that he wants to take the nearly $8 million in federal stimulus money the city was awarded to buy computers for poor neighborhoods to reduce the digital divide and use it to retain city workers in the current jobs.

In other words, this labor union stooge who talks endlessly about the injustices the rest of us commit against the poor is willing to protect some of the nation's highest paid city workers and cheat kids and families in the city's most impoverished and under-served communities out of the chance for access to the modern world.

For my money, that's a crime against humanity and ought to be recognized as such.

Alarcon is not alone in this skewed view of the world.

For whatever lip service the rest of his colleagues on the City Council may pay to rhyme and reason, they share his sensibility and vote with extraordinary unanimity to put the city's workforce ahead of the city.

That is why we are in trouble, why they are willing to sell the city's assets and mortgage its future, why they are drooling at the chance sock it to us from every direction with higher rates, taxes and fees, why they are for the third time in less than a year back at the bargaining table with the unions begging for help in this budget crisis charade.

They are protecting city jobs, city wages and city benefits at all costs because the unions, with help from developers, contractors and other special interests, put them into the nation's highest and most lavishly perked municipal elected offices.

They no more care about the poor than they care about the rest of us. If they did, poverty in LA would not be getting worse year after year, unemployment would not be among the highest in the country, there would not so much substandard housing, or many sweatshops.

Their programs to help the poor, the disabled, the disadvantaged are as much a failure as virtually every other thing they do from rotting water and electrical systems to 75-year backlogs in sidewalk and street paving, from the proliferation of digital billboards to the proliferation of marijuana shops.

The mayor is no less guilty.

In the first six months after City Hall offered the Early Retirement Incentive Pprgram, 625 workers have actually retired with pensions averaging more than $1,000 a week with 32 of them getting pensions in excess of $100,000 a year, according to records obtained by OurLA.org. under the California Public Records Act.

Read who joined the city's nearly 1,000 members of the Six-Figure Pension Club and the list of the 625 who retired since enhanced pensions were offer to city workers and how much they get monthly at yearly. Go to OurLA.org.

An old dog who's been involved in LA politics for a long time once told me why our current leaders like Antonio and Fabian Nunez (former leader, now "consultant) tend to flaunt their power with the trappings of success usually associated with millionaires - expensive restaurants, great wine, designer clothes and a wink and a nod when it comes to ethics.

They think it's their turn, the old dog said.

I thought about this the other day when I read that Antonio, Fabian and former Ayatollah of the Assembly Willie Brown had dinner recently in one of Beverly Hills (note: not LA!) most expensive restaurants, Cut.  (Great doggie bags, if somebody would like to try to bribe me.)

Willie Brown obviously thought it was his turn, too.

I think the old dog that shared this with me had it right.  Just think about:  If you met any of these guys when they were say 16, what do you think the odds were that they would be being among the most powerful leaders in California?  A million to one?  Maybe.

These guys are scrappers.  They don't have impressive educations.  They operate from their gut.  And because they hang out with lots of rich people who want things from them - remember their power - they tend to believe they should enjoy the same lifestyle.

That's why a lot of people hate them. And I envy them.  Remember, I live on kibble in Ron's backyard.

And I'm scrappy too!

The Dog Trainer's top dog columnist, Steve Lopez, did a dumb online poll last week, asking his readers for the "worst Angeleno of all time."  The winner?  Not Richard "Night Stalker" Ramirez. Not Charles Manson.  But Antonio!

The poll was ridiculous - and Lopez admitted it.  But it says a lot about how people feel about LA right now, at least those who took the time to vote.

They are pissed off.  They want a leader who can fix our problems, not a celebrity - even if it's his turn.

Woof!!

For a moment there, he had me -- I thought the Antonio Villaraigosa I had hoped five years ago would save LA from misrule and mismanagement had awakened from his amnesia and was stepping forward to provide the city with desperately needed leadership at a time of crisis.

Where the City Council on Wednesday had shown itself to be gutless and indecisive, the mayor stood tall at the microphone and announced he was carrying out the drastic budget deficit measures recommended by City Administrative Officer Miguel Santana.

"Mayor Orders 1,000 Layoffs" screamed the headlines on TV, newspapers, websites and emails.

But on further examination, it appears in the fine print (budget-mayor-ltr-100204.pdf) that he is "eliminating" 1,000 jobs from the general fund payroll and moving the workers into other jobs in the DWP, Harbor, Airport or paid for with special funds.

They are phantom layoffs that achieve exactly what the City Council wanted to achieve 30 days from now, what the unions have demanded.

They are savings on paper that do nothing to solve the city's real financial problems caused by the spectacular $11 billion that taxpayers owe to the pension funds.

Once again, the mayor has raised our hopes and then dashed them.

This is exactly the kind sleight of hand that has become the hallmark of City Hall, a political stunt intended to beguile the uninformed and the indifferent and prop up the mayor's standing at a time he couldn't beat Zuma Dogg in a recall election.

For that moment of my delusion, I thought we'd see the mayor address the Council today at its final meeting in Van Nuys -- another abandoned commitment to reach out to the public -- and lay out a plan of action that would restore order to the city's finances and preserve public services.

Instead, we find the mayor is continuing down the road to oblivion for himself and for us.

It's clear he will carry out his plan to gut services, sell off assets and do the bidding of the unions without bringing all the constituencies of the city to the table to figure out a long-term solution that will protect the jobs of  employees, balance the budget and provide the services  needed for a healthy city.

Yet another missed opportunity, a third strike.

Watch how quickly the city's parking structures to the very companies that owe the city more than $100 million in back taxes, the companies that have poured thousands of dollars into city political campaigns even as they were nothing but scofflaws ripping off the public

Watch how quickly AEG takes over the Convention Center, the white elephant that has cost taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars, to run it as part of their luxury hotel and entertainment complex at LA Live and Staples Center. Digital billboards will quickly be plastered all around the Convention Center to enrich AEG's billionaire owner while the public gets pennies on the dollar.

Watch how the golf courses, Ontario Airport, the zoo and so much else winds up in the hands of insiders and profiteers while the city borrows billions and mortgages our future.

There is no one among our elected officials who will stand in the way of this high-speed train to worsening poverty in a bankrupt city.

They have ignored the warnings of their financial advisers. They have left the documents showing how serious this crisis is unread beyond the cover sheets. They have ignored the will of the people.

And yet, we all hold out hope somehow that common sense will prevail, that something will turn the tide.

We meet and talk and strategize and offer alternatives to inattentive ears. We beg for respect and get nothing but lip service.

If only we the people could transfer our lives to another place as if nothing was wrong...If only we could throw all these nobody politicians into the trash heap of history...If only we could re-create our city into a series of smaller towns that could be managed for the benefit of all with the full participation of all...

Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa broke his silence on the city budget crisis Thursday afternoon and ordered layoffs of 1,000 city employees as soon as possible and the transfer of 360 others to proprietary departments and special-funded positions.

He also opened the door to the immediate retirement of any employee who wishes to do so and urged the City Council to transfer $40 million in uncommitted funds to the rapidly depleting emergency reserve fund.

"We are living beyond our means" the mayor said at a 4 p.m. news conference.

"We  have difficult choices to make. We must protect our economic future. Unfortunately, instead of making progress  we are headed in the wrong direction. That ends today "

Villaraigosa acted one day after the City Council balked at approving layoffs or taking other steps to erase a $208 million budget deficit. In fact, the deficit grew by $4 million even as they debated for eight hours Wednesday over what actions to take and is growing by nearly $400,000 every day.

Invoking his authority under the City Charter, the mayor said:

"I am taking immediate action toward balancing this fiscal year's budget, strengthening the city's credit rating and restoring the city's long-term fiscal health."

He said the layoffs would affect 1,000 filled city positions as recommended by City Administrative Officer Miguel Santana last Friday.

Also, the jobs open at the Harbor, Airport and DWP will be filled by transferring general fund employees to those positions or others paid for with special funds. Employees have until 5 p.m. to request transfers or file for expedited retirement, which could attract workers already at the maximum retirement benefit of 75 percent of final pay.

The transfers will be effective on Feb. 16, leaving little time for the Council to intervene on his action.

"I will reserve my right as mayor to transfer any employee at any time as needed to protect the city's general and reserve funds," the mayor added.

In his press release, the mayor said:

"I do not relish these decisions, but neither will I shy away from them or pretend they don't exist. Angelenos all over our City are making tougher choices between food or their prescription drugs, between school supplies and a doctor's visit for their child, or between their electric bill and their rent. It is time that we at City Hall follow their lead, set priorities, and make the tough choices necessary to protect our core responsibilities."

The stage is set, the actors in place, everyone has rehearsed their lines -- and the curtain is up on the drama that will determine the future of LA.

The masses of workers, neighborhood activists, arts lovers, disabled have joined in a chorus with a plaintive song, beating their chests while the princes and princesses of their realm bluster in a cacophony of discordant brays and hoots until they all come together in unison and sing the overture, "Woe is us."

The shadowy silhouette of the lord of all, King AV, fills the background, breaking his imperious silence from time to time with his lament, "What about me...What about me..."

"Bankruptcy" this Wagnerian opera is called, its opening scene filled with gloom and dread and portents of disasters ahead. Whether it will lead to a new beginning or become the beginning of the end hangs in the balance with the future of LA at stake.

Everyone has offered solutions to the dilemma, all intended to protect what they have, hoping to save themselves from the black plague of bankruptcy.

The unity of the masses dissolves with the Neighborhood Councils singing the aria "We've got a right" with other communities of interest offer the counterpoint "We need your help, don't forget about us." The workers drown them out with the lively old tune, "We've got ideas, so many ideas, 67 ideas to make our troubles go away, go away." (Lyrics provided here
Coalition Worker Ideas.pdf}  

The princes and princesses then take the front of the stage, each singing a different tune. Prince Alarcon, the absentee lord, screams "Soak the rich" while Prince Bernie offers "We gotta be tough," Princess Janice "There's enough for everyone, I love you all" and heir apparent Prince Eric sings his favorite song, "We are all one family, except you and you and you..."

Enter High Priest Miguel, whose calmness is the stuff of saints, his presence bringing stony silence to the assembled players.

"There is an answer to your plaints and prayers," he sings. "I have it here right in my hand. If only you could read, if only you could read between the lines, you'd see the money lenders will save us this day, they will save the day."

I could go on but I wouldn't want to ruin the ending of this great LA drama but I'm not quite sure if it's grand opera or soap opera.

So I leave it to you to write your own ending.

You can see it through a glass darkly, sliding down a slippery slope of phony solutions, reduced basic services, unending conflict and unhappiness, in bankruptcy.

Or you can look on the bright side of things, and see this opening act as nothing more than the start of elaborate negotiations that will lead the cast to simplifying their world by going back to basics and each side giving up something, reductions in salaries/benefits, higher taxes and fees.

Then, everyone would take a seat at the table of power for the grand finale: "We are one, one city, one people, all in this together..."

You decide, it's your drama.